I Love Carl. (My Mother's Day Memory)

Today we celebrated Mother's Day in the US. Mothers around the country slept in, were given a break, and told they are loved. At home, I try to celebrate Mother's Day every Sunday. It is the one day where I get to sleep in. On Sundays, sweet Sundays, hubby is home to intercept my alarm clocks (the kids) and I'm given a morning break to catch some extra zzzz's.

Today was slightly different though. As I rolled over in bed savoring the extra sleep, I felt the soft shoves of  little hands as Mia and Daniel nervously woke me up. Mia proceeded to climb on top of me and laugh while Daniel cheered enthusiastically, "Mommy! Mommy! It's Mother's Day!" He then shoved a card in my face with a huge grin anxiously awaiting my reaction. "Aww, thanks papa," I whispered trying to rub my eyes awake and make a sleepy smile. In the card he wrote "Love Daniel" and Mia wrote her own baby scribbles that meant just as much. He then delicately placed his hands on my lap. "Mommy. I made this for you. Here's your Mother's Day gift. I named him Carl."Carl was a little snowman looking thing he carefully crafted from play dough.

"Carl? Why Carl?" I wondered. But who can ever tell the reasonings behind a four year old's thoughts. "I love Carl," I mustered. "He's awesome."And I carefully placed Carl on my nightstand so as not to accidentally dismember him. God forbid. Then off Daniel went, skipping along contently because he knew he had succeeded in making me smile. Which to him meant, mommy was happy and loved.

I savor these moments as I reminisce about Daniel's rough start in this world. Four and a half years ago Daniel was born. It was a hot summer night and I labored mostly at home, trying desperately to withstand the pain. By the time my contractions were a minute apart, my family rushed me to the hospital just in time. The delivery was text book and the doctors said he was perfect. He nursed immediately and I thought everything was going to be just as easy as it looked on TV. But then, he cried. Exhausted beyond belief, I remember holding him continuously and nursing him around the clock. I slept a total of four hours the entire three days I stayed in the hospital.

Being overly exhausted and a new mom, the anxiety of doing things right got the best of me. All I wanted was sleep. But Daniel cried. He cried and cried. He cried when we held him. He cried while he nursed. He cried while falling asleep. Cried. Cried. Cried. Worried that I was going to have a nervous breakdown, I called the pediatrician who told me to bring him in. He was two weeks old. They immediately admitted him in the hospital for an evaluation. Daniel had an infection. They placed him on an intravenous antibiotic for three days while his little body fought off the virus. I remember not wanting to leave the hospital. I felt safe there. And rested.

After we were discharged, we came home and I thought things would get better but Daniel continued crying relentlessly. I wondered if I was doing something wrong. Was I a bad mom? My parents encouraged me to take him back to the pediatrician where they ultimately diagnosed him with colic. I read about colic but didn't think it could happen to my child. To me.

I spent the next few days obsessively researching colic online. After too much reading, consulting with my mother and mother-in-law and much trial and error, we finally discovered our winning combination. A mix of soothing techniques that calmed Daniel and kept him at peace. His magic combination included being carried in a sling during parts of the day (also known as attachment parenting), drinking small amounts of chamomile tea, having a daily stomach massage with lavender oil, and supervised naps on his belly.

Initially, I was opposed to some of these ideas because of what I had read or heard. But I think that's just it with motherhood. You learn pretty quickly that what is right for one, may not be right for all. That you can't read your way through motherhood. You have to live your way through it. That although you may find a mom or two that you trust and confide in, you have to learn to trust in yourself. God put that instinct there for a reason.

Four and a half years later, Daniel is a happy, silly, inquisitive, intelligent, old soul. His joys are making people laugh and playing outside. Especially if it involves water. His health has never been better thanks to his vitamin and nutrition regimen. A far cry from were he started as a newborn.

So Yes. I love Carl.
I love Carl and what he represents. A happy, healthy little boy trying to make his momma smile.