Cherish More.

Life is an opportunty,

benefit from it.

Life is beauty,

admire it.

(Mother Theresa)

I believe God inbreeds in us our very own distinct personality. Through life, our experiences and environment can then sway our personality...even alter it slightly. Well there is no doubt about the fact that I have a very regimented personality. I like things to be very orderly and predictable. I need to feel as though I have a sense of control over what to expect next.

True to my personality, I had this vacation all planned out. This trip was supposed to be an opportunity for hubby, me and the kids to enjoy quality time with my parents. An opportunity to do the touristy things that tourists do when they come to Orlando.

And while we are doing those things, like visiting the main theme parks, I can't help but feel like my purpose here has been greater. These days, I've spent some time chatting with a dear friend from childhood, Bestie. As simple as our conversations have been, they have been ultimately fulfilling. The common thread that laces through our chats has been gratitude. "I'm finally enjoying life." Her words resonated with me. She went on about how thankful she is that she recently moved to Florida and how now, more than ever, she values her family and knows she is blessed.

Like Bestie, these past few days have been much more than visiting theme parks. It's been deeper than spending beautiful moments with my parents. It has been an awareness. An awareness that I too, am truly blessed. Does that happen to all of us maybe? We're so busy living life, feeding, working, cooking, chasing, that we don't have time to see what we have? Cherish what we have? I can't help but compare it to my Daniel, and every other child we rush down the sidewalk, as he stops for the 10th time to smell the same type of yellow weed flower. He wants to value that moment. Cherish it.

In the midst of packing our cooler for tomorrow's trip to Disney, baby Mia was toddling her way across the living room. Her little bare feet were slapping the tile floor beneath her and her messy curls covered her face as she made her way to her destination, the green stuffed frog on the opposite side of the room. As she waddled, I could hear her humming nothingness to the tune of a song that I oftentimes sing to her at night before bed. Her happiness at that moment, as simple as it was, fulfilled me. It was then that I realized I was savoring more and more of these simple joys as the days progressed.

This vacation has allowed me to stop more. Value more. Cherish more. Be more aware of my blessings. I'm thankful for the extra time I have to think. To be. The basic simplicities in life, the moments that bring me fulfillment, peace, and joy, are so present now they're winking at me. Almost as though they're saying, "Look at me! Look at how fabulous I am. Soak me in!"

It is with this that I will throw up my hands and surrender to the possibilities that await us the rest of our trip. It is with this that I will relish more scrumptious moments of pure simplicities. Simple, happy moments that fulfill my soul.

My Hope, My Balance

In my 35 years of Marilynhood (AKA, my life), I've learned that you can guarantee there will always be peaks and valleys in life. Peaks are those moments when you are soaring in joy. Life is good. Things go your way and you feel a sense of peace every morning when you wake up. Then there are valleys. The days that seem will never end. The challenges that arise and take a toll on your esteem, your hope.

During the peaks, I try to remember to count my blessings. Stay thankful and grounded. But its during those valleys that I take a step back and ask myself, "Am I handling this right?" Then I look up and ask God, "Am I handling this right?"

Today is a valley. I'm almost ashamed to call it that. I'm healthy. My family is healthy. Our businesses are doing well. We're thankful. But something is off balance. My nerves are off balance.

I'm anxious anticipating what tomorrow will bring when we leave for our trip to visit my parents who have recently moved to Florida. At my deepest core, I am eager to see them and spend time with them. I am excited to see their faces, feel their hugs, and smell their embrace. I am filled with joy that my children will get to spend time with their 'Buelo and 'Buela. But with the excitement and joy, comes a sense of nervousness. I'm nervous that my feelings of missing them will resurface. And I'm dreading the subliminal countdown that we all do when we go away on vacation for a limited time. You selfishly enjoy the first few days, then begin the countdown, knowing your carefree goodness will end soon. And so begins the "...4 more days, 3 more days, 2 more days..." mindset.

My nerves have the best of me today and I find myself trying to cope. The bag of tortilla chips I just inhaled helped temporarily, but alas, the feelings of anxiousness are still there. So I have given myself the leeway today to not care about how healthy my food choices were. I allowed myself to revert back to the foods that once comforted me, and in abundance. Grease, fried foods, chocolate bars, and desserts. I guess you can say, I fell off the holistic wagon.

So what do I do now? Do I, A: Keep slipping down? Or do I, B: Anchor my feet in the ground and pull myself up? As a mom trying to live holistically, I've learned life is a balance. And while today my balance may have been off, I can be certain that God will tilt the lever on my behalf. So it is with this faith that I will choose B and pull myself up.

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."  Romans 5:3-4

Here's to counting our blessings, having hope and striving for balance...

 'Buelo and 'Buela

Holistic-ish

March was a milestone month. I officially turned "mid-thirties"...35 to be exact. And in March I made a commitment to myself. I decided I was going to eat healthier and so was my family. This decision then transformed into a bit of a lifestyle. When I first began this journey, I began ranting to my friends about this new experience, excited at the novelty of it all. It was like that adrenaline rush you feel when you embark on a first. A first date. A first time driving. The butterflies that tickle your tummy when you think of all the best possibilities. Hope. She responded, "Oh, you want to be a holistic parent. I can help you."

"Holistic?" I thought. "What does that mean exactly?" And so began my quest to understand what this meant and how I could incorporate it into my life. My family's life.

Initially I began my search for a healthier lifestyle by focusing on nutrition. It was important to me that we incorporated a lot more fruits and vegetables into our diet and began eliminating foods that contained chemicals, preservatives and additives. I remember the first day I walked in the door with a gallon of organic whole milk. Hubby glanced at my hand holding the milk, then stared at me, then back again at the milk. With a twist of his chin, an eyebrow raised and his Brooklyn accent stated, "Why are you spending more money on organic?" My sales training kicked in and I proceeded with my pitch.

Start with the dilemma. Do you really want to give our one year old princess potential hormones and pesticides? Not to mention the questionable farming practices of regular milk. I don't even want to go there.

Potential solution. Let's take baby steps. We'll just start with organic whole milk for Mia, then if we want we can slowly transition our milk.

Sold. We climbed the tiny hill. Then questions starting popping up regarding produce, meat, cleaning supplies, and healthcare. You name it, I started questioning it. Let me clarify. I did not begin throwing out all of our canned foods or processed foods. Nor did I completely stop consuming foods that were not deemed organic. I simply began questioning.

I've come to realize, this is the core of holistic parenting. It is not going with the status quo. It is questioning. It is trying to make the best decisions for your family based on your family's needs. It is being sensitive to the individuality of each member of your family and being sensitive to our impact to each other and to those around us, including the environment. Even if its just a bit more so. Holistic-ish.

Holistic Moms Network writer Jessica Haney describes it as this,

"At its foundation, holistic parenting is about making intentional choices. Holistic parents seek information. Where other folks shrug off chemicals in food or toys with 'Well, I used that or ate with that, and I turned out okay,' holistic parents know the score. They understand that a lot of us have health issues as adults that maybe could have been prevented. They care, so they look into it."

And so for me, holistic parenting has become an educational journey. A process of asking questions, researching and deciding what works for me and for my family. A process of understanding what may be right for our family may not be right for another. And vice versa. It is not about being perfect. It is not about being exclusive. It is about finding direction and in turn directing my children. It is with this that I have become holistic-ish. And it is with this that my family will continue our holistic-ish journey.

For more information about the Holistic Moms Network, visit holisticmoms.org.

Lo Positivo

We all have our strengths and our weaknesses. It's human nature and I suppose why we're not Jesus. Finance and politics are most certainly my weaknesses. It may be partially because I never cared much for math or social studies classes in middle school...or high school for that matter. 

Even today, I embarrassingly admit to be a bit clueless about where we stand as a nation with regards to our economy and politics. My daily news is centered around my children these days - what they have or have not eaten, new games they've played, new things they've learned...both good and bad. They are my Wall Street Journal. I know I should know more about our nation's news, but I don't. I know the basics. The headlines. Just enough where I officially qualify as not living under a rock. I also know enough that our economy has still not recovered fully. Money.cnn.com reported today, "We're starting to get very worried about going back to a recession."

My father always said, "La vida puede tener positivo y negativo. Tienes que buscar lo positivo." (Life can have both positives and negatives. You must look for the positives.) This is so engrained into my being that I am an optimist by nature. Through this journey of motherhood, through these tumbles of healthy living, I'm learning this saying to be ever true.

And so it has been with switching over to buying organic. Over the past month I have transitioned a bulk of our diet to organic, milk, produce, and meat whenever possible. Maybe its all in my mind, but I swear the food tastes better. Positivo. Plus, knowing its chemical and preservative free is beneficial to our health has given me a sublime peace of mind. Positivo. But this change in diet came with a hefty price tag. The milk alone is almost twice as much. Negativo. The produce is more expensive and forget about the meat. Negativo. Negativo. I tell myself, 

"This is worth the investment. We're investing in our health, which means less medical care in the long run. The small investment now will significantly outweigh the medical benefits and our general well being now and in the future."

But what about families that have been severely impacted with our weakened economy. My heart goes out to homes that are struggling to make ends meet on a daily basis. I think to some degree, we have all been impacted by the economy. But for some, it has more than just impacted their life. It's changed their life. They've lost. Lost employment. Healthcare. Insurance. A home. A car. For these families, spending an extra $2 for organic milk is not an option. 

Our family has been blessed to this day in that hubby and I are both employed and have full medical benefits. And with that blessing, I feel a sense of responsibility and need to learn how to buy organic more affordably. So while I still don't have a clear answer on how to go about doing so, it has become my personal mission. It is my way of "looking for the positive" in this situation. Perhaps it means finding opportunities to buy in bulk and sharing with my neighbor, or finding a local farm where I can purchase direct rather than paying a mark up at the supermarket, or maybe even planting my own mini garden. 

As I learn how to crawl through this journey towards a holistic walk, it is my hope that in the process I will learn how to make buying organic foods a bit more affordably for our home and for our little economy.

Easter Traditions

I am a total holiday junkie. My mother always jokes that my brother Angel and I enjoy the holidays more than our kids. We literally get giddy with excitement when a holiday arrives, like that feeling you used to get as a child the night before Christmas. My brother would literally camp under the tree and watch the clock until it finally turned 12:00 am to shout "IT'S CHRISTMAS!" We can open our presents!" 

We share such fond memories and I feel an overwhelming sense of fulfillment every time I create these new moments with my own children. That's why this year, Easter meant something different for me. The significance of Easter remains the same and we celebrate the sacrifice Jesus made by dying on the cross for us and then rising on the third day. But the childhood experiences are changing slightly. Not only was I getting ready to help my children experience new moments this Easter, but I was going to be creating new moments for myself and hubby.

As tradition, we usually dyed eggs at home and at some point in the weekend leading up to Easter would take the kids to hunt for eggs either at home or on a local farm. In preparation for the dyeing and the hunting, a few days ago, I ran into my local Target, ready for the Kentucky derby. My empty cart looked so sad, like it was asking to be filled to the brim with Springtime treats and goodies. I was ready. I had on my running sneakers, hair in a bun and kids at home with daddy. Nothing was going to stop me from getting all of my shopping done that night.

I was not about to get distracted so I charged straight ahead, to the back right corner of the store, where I knew the seasonal merchandise was located. I resisted the temptation to veer into the women's clothing or household appliances. "Ooh, milk. I need milk". I temporarily veered off and grabbed a half gallon of organic milk on my way to the back. Focus Marilyn. Focus.

The Easter/Spring department looked like a scene out of the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory. The florescent green, yellow and pink aisles were dripping with chocolate bunnies, chocolate crosses, baskets, plastic eggs, egg dyes, and a slew of egg shaped candies. 

First on the list...treats to fill up the eggs for our egg hunt. Everything was either in the shape of a pastel-colored egg or a bunny. "Ooookaaayyy, no healthy alternatives here," I thought to myself. But I wasn't about to snob off Target. I love Tarschet (say it with a French accent).

I knew I didn't want chocolate, a major shocker coming from me, a life long devotee to chocolate. My middle name in High School was Chocohaulic. But things were different now. I was trying to make better choices for our family. In fact, yesterday after school we dumped out all of Daniel's eggs from school and spread the candy on our kitchen table. I asked him which he would like to keep. "None mommy. None of these are healthy." Eureka!! Did my 4 year old just say that? Bliss.

"I know," I thought. "What about gummy snacks?" I skipped over five aisles of chocolate and after what seemed like 20 minutes of hunting, found a teensy tiny section of gummy snacks. "Aha!" I picked up the box and flipped it over. Were the ingredients in French, Dutch, Arabic? It couldn't have been English. The ingredients looked more like a science equation than a food list. I am certain there are healthy fruit snack options that exist, but this was certainly not one of them, so I opted against them. 

This was the first holiday where I felt like the odd one out. I had to overlook the popular options to find some for us. Then in the corner of my vantage point, I spotted a small box of Spring shaped goodie bag toys and erasers. Bingo! Kids like toys and fun-shaped erasers. New experience #1 - no candy in our Easter eggs.

The next mission was to find the dyes to color our eggs. Then I thought, "We can probably color the eggs with ingredients we have at home." So I happily checked out with my small bag of toy erasers and toys for our egg hunt. Less than $5! Sweet!

New experience #2 - we dyed our eggs with natural foods. Yesterday we filled our bowls with our concoctions. Paprika, water and vinegar made orange. Coffee and vinegar made brown. And beets, water and vinegar made pink. Daniel and Mia had such a great time. I could see the little wheels turning in their innocent minds as they dipped each egg into a new color. 

I will always be a holiday junkie. I will always celebrate traditions and now, when and if the moment presents itself, I will make an effort to create new traditions. New moments. New experiences that my children will one day re-live and hopefully cherish. 

Chiropractically Converted

I was a Chiropractic virgin. Never went to one. Never believed in them.

"I never go, because they become addictive. Then you always have to go."
Right?

Hmmmm, makes me think of all the other addictive things I would do to feel healthy. That's right. Feel. Not Be. Feel.

Excedrin migraine. Tylenol PM. Caffeine. Caffeine. Did I mention caffeine? Chocolate. Oooh Chocolate. My friend. My best friend. Chocolate was always within arms reach. Always seemed to make everything seem ok. Just a touch on my lips would send my mind spiraling down a path of instant satisfaction.

Seems a little sad to think that these seemingly innocent vices helped me cope. My constant headaches and lethargy were easily cured with any of the above solo, or on a bad day, combo! So I now ask myself, were these my addictions?

I took the plunge last week and went to my first chiropractic appointment. I had taken Daniel previously for his neck pain but never dared go myself. To be honest, I was scared. I hate the sound of bones popping or cracking and couldn't fathom a doctor popping or cracking any of my own. But, with the improvement in Daniel's health since his visits last month, I decided it was my turn.

Daniel held my hand as we walked into Dr. Tom's office. Doc greeted us with a big friendly smile. Daniel gave him a high five and went off to play in the kiddie corner. I sat in the kiddie corner, feeling like one myself and nervously shook my legs, waiting my turn.

"Marilyn, you can go to the back room."

The back room? As in, my back? As in, are they going to crack my back?

I took Daniel's hand and we walked down the hallway together to my room. As we waited, Daniel joyfully played with the skeleton in the room and laughed pretending it was a monster that was going to eat him.

Me: Hmmmph, yes papa, you're silly. That's a scary monster.
       Daniel, I'm scared.

D:  Why mommy?

Me: I'm afraid of what the doctor is going to do to me.

D: Don't be scared mommy. It doesn't hurt.

Dr. Tom then walks in and proceeds to review all of my test results from a previous visit where he simply took my X-rays and scans. He began describing each test, what was considered "normal" and what my spine looked like. Definitely not normal. In fact, my upper spine was so out of whack I'm surprised my head wasn't collapsing forward every time I walked a step. Based on the results, my upper spine was 82 degrees off from where it should be aligned.

Dr. Tom: You get a lot of headaches, don't you?

Me: Yes.

Doc: I'm surprised you don't have worse symptoms.

Me: You mean, like my neck cracking every time I sit. I guess that's not normal?

Doc: ...........No........ No, that's not normal.

Me: oh. hmmm. And my neck pain. Is that related?

Doc: Most definitely.

I took a deep breath in, followed by a deep and robust exhale out. Similar to how I tell Daniel to breathe when he's angry. Calm down. Calm down Marilyn. I mentally prepared myself for the inevitable. My bones popping and cracking.

Doc patiently showed me some exercises to do in another room, adjacent to the one we were in. I waited there and did the exercises for about 15 minutes.

Then, he summoned me. It was my turn. I was up.

I laid on the table and Daniel came by side. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply.
Pop.
Crack.
"Ouch!"
Pop.
Crack.
"Urghh..."
Crack.
Hmmph.

All done. I made it! I made it and felt strangely relieved. I feel somewhat optimistic today. Hopeful even. I haven't slept better. My mood has been great. And I'm reading that chiropractic visits can actually help leverage my body's health and immune system. That would be awesome. But for now, I'm focusing on fixing my spinal alignment so that my headaches can eventually subside. Now that, would be great!

Be forewarned, this clip is in Spanish. My conversation with Daniel about how nervous I was. Daniel reassured me he was going to show me how to do it. As soon as Doc opened the door, Daniel ducks down to hide from him!

Image above from http://www.backpainoconnor.com/demophysreal.asp